Two's company. A few words on food, drink and little adventures! @atablefortwoLDN
As we stared at a pile of scaffolding, Destiny’s Child blared out in the background. At this point we were glad we were waiting 30 minutes for a table. Sadly we’re being ironic. Irony continued to follow as we stepped through the door. Semi-industrial fittings/furniture: check. Trendy beers: check. Caricature burgers: check. Laissez faire service: check.
Surprisingly this was not Dalston but 5 minutes from Oxford street. In an area that has had a reputation for being somewhat of a haven for the Kuwait expats. Frankly something vaguely interesting on that street is a sight for soar eyes. Especially when the competition comes down to greasy shisha smoking restaurants or those obscenely priced ten-a-penny ‘Italian’ joints. Finding our table amongst the Twitterarti set we feasted our eyes on the minimal menu. Some witty titles excited the eyes such as ‘Lambshank Redemption’, we chose to go for the Jose Jose Burger a surefire mix of Chorizo, pickles and cheese packed under a brioche bun. Seasoned fries and a mixed salad were added to fill the table.
The waitress so eloquently summoned the arrival of our suspiciously fast food indulgence, with ‘is this for you?’. Our drinks then followed. The mixed salad was one of those cheap ‘gesture’ mix salads that consist mainly of iceberg lettuce and tomato dressed with an indistinguishable watery dressing. But hey I guess you don’t come to a burger place and expect a good salad, it’s only your money after all. Fries came seasoned with rosemary and enough salt to make the sea blush with inadequacy. The burgers do impress in appearance, if you enjoy looking at food on Instagram. These great heaving sweaty mounds of meat and cheese seem to have been wounded on the way to the table as they were profusely loosing fluids as we tried to lift them to our mouths. The menus promise of all these distinct flavours were completely lost in a loose mash of ingredients. In fact the beef of this beef burger was completely unnoticeable.
While we were digesting the swamp of meat and cheese we were somewhat perturbed at ‘what was Patty & Buns unique selling point?’. It lacks any originality or championing of produce that Honest has firmly grasped and its not as novel as The Diner. It would seem that there are two reasons why the tables are full. One being 2013’s unnatural lust for expensive fast food , the second being someone said it was good.
Places like this are like what Instagram did to photography. Take something unnoteworthy, slap some aesthetics on the top and you’ve got something fit for popular culture. As the bill arrived, the only thing that we hadn’t already seen before was a West London restaurant not charging the usual 12.5% service charge but instead an unheard of 10%. Seemed fair seeing as we had to claim our food from the waitress.
54 James St